Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Is this a good storyline ?

No. You can't keep your tenses straight and you're telling instead of describing. Don't pack in the whole story in the beginning, give the readers clues. So instead of telling the read everything about the brothers, just write throughout their day and the reader will understand that Romeo works at a bar and blah blah blah. Also change Romeo to a different name, it is ridiculous.

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